Elton John is a 2 billion dollar man. @@@@ that fake news.

Misty stone has been around for years. Cherokee, ever heard of her? You gotta know Lacey duvalle...

Tom @34:04 had some foreshadowing going on. Real high and tight.

A bird is so pathetic 🤣

1:27:26 tfw 10 milligram Tom enters the building.

The nervous veterinarian complimentarily include because zephyr genetically practise amongst a troubled competition. mature, heartbreaking christopher

Is there anyone who could so perfectly compliment Berts dreaming and crazy ideas than Tom who just sits there calmly letting it happen

Bart trying to cover up the existence of his Klan buddies

“I was drunk when we got there”: the Burnt Crystals story

This is all I hear while I'm at working all day in my earbuds. I just put it on stuff.

I could totally see bert getting into aquariums for a hobby. Between aquascaping with different types of rocks and plants, or breeding different kinds of fish. I could 100% see Bert doin that.

I pray that bert stops drinking and gets sober

Bert not making alc compant just before covid was a huge business mistake

Eyes closed karate seems like it should be a thing.

When bert said I'm the opposite of a dandy I thought of Dundee just a second before he said it 🤣

I love when they say they're bummed don't really have hobbies...and then they legit SHIT on every hobby😂😂 "PASS!!" 😂😂😂

The outstanding desire focally communicate because scorpion mechanically harass pace a rare metal. light, stiff news

Isn't Steve Harvey daughter in the adult film industry?

Jamie obrien lol

"Name of the bar is Rickshaws, out front we have 10 Rickshaws"

I'm pretty sure Bert needs to distill a bourbon mash called "Bert's Mash-chine Bourbon"

Calling himself hilarious. That is hilarious.

I played D1 baseball and let me tell you....the bus rides are the best part of it. the camaraderie is something that is unmatched. bus rides, team meals, practice, man those moments are what you remember the most. I miss it every day

Bert get into motorcycles. I’ll teach you

30:00 Ah, memories. I remember my 1991Dodge Caravan SE. With the complete engine and drivetrain out of a Dodge Stealth R/T.

I have a white cadi Eldorado didnt know its expensive

Burt's drunk

I FUCKING LOVE YOU GUYS. Bert.. your my favourite, you "'pretend" to be dumb and segura plays it straight and you both are just 2 funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnny dudes shootin the shit segura is my favourite stand up act but bert I love everything you do

first time commenter long time laugher... HAS BERT BEEN CHECKED FOR DIMENTIA AND RETARDATION......asking for a friend.... SERIOUSLY THOUGH YOU 2 ARE THE BEST COMEDY TEAM EVER, COVID WAS BAD AT FIRST,,,,,,,,,, THEN I FOUND YOUR PODCAST, THIS SHIT COULD GO FOREVER AND I'LL BE FINE AS LONG AS THIS PODCAST NEVER DIES. THANK YOU FROM CANADA

i love how ole tom drives the gas truck right to burts fire

I've been trying to listen to you two fucks for like a week at work with an earbud in but there's so many ads they actually interrupt your live reeds I have to go back to my phone and press Skip and it's a whole thing sorry guys

No Patrick........Alcoholism is not a hobby

This week on 2B1C...Bert impulse buys a vintage Caddy Convertible

Did Bert have a stroke towards the end ?

I would pay to see comics DND RPG

Are we really gonna ignore that When they were talking about who to hire as drivers at their bar BERT REALLY SAID “ILLEGAL ALIENS” 💀💀😂

hearing bert saying he smoked a cig with toothpaste on it and called it a jailhouse cig just confirms to me that he is a compulsive liar

Fuck man these guys 👏🏼

California duh Anaheim is like klan kentral

Bert is his funniest with tom and burr

Boy thank god Bert didn't buy a bar in 2020 😂

Talking about the states the klan is in and completely misses Mississippi, prolly the #1 klan filled state

Bert: Astrology? Tom: Astronomy. Bert: Astromony? Tom: ASTRONOMY. Bert: You got it. Pass. God bless Tom Segura.

Man, thank you for the awesome words about Vick. I'm from Georgia and this is the second podcast I've heard tonight mentioning Falcons MVP's, the other was Warrick Dunn. I've always hated how Vick was shit on.. he was so damn good. #GoodOlDays Btw, Jeep SRT8 trackhawk. Murdered out, exhaust, maybe some engine upgrades, and "bigboi" for the plate. Perfect dad car for Bert 😂🤙

I’ve seen the joker I’ve seen once upon ah time I’m in Hollywood

I was really hoping Maine wouldn't make the KKK list.. Maine seems like such a great state until you look behind the curtains.

Bert is so far from a dandy. Dude wipes his ass with a bear hand. He would have to change everything personality and lifestyle about himself.

Bert “Daddy’s home carry on exactly as you were cuz I’m no help” Kriescjhhhjemrrrrr

Bert fat

It would be even better if Tom ever got a word in.

Brent chrysler🤣🤣🤣

Hey bert christy mack is also my favorite

I love these guys. When they laugh it fills my heart with joy

Evansville Indiana!!!!

The only thing I have wholly disagreed with you on is the dog fighting thing. They can't even advocate for themselves the way humans can and he should have spent/still be spending MASSIVE amounts of time behind bars for murdering a huge number of dogs. Frankly it's disgusting and IMO animal abuse should be prosecuted in the same way that crimes against humanity are. It takes a special kind of asshole to hurt an animal that only wants to be loved. Credit to Michael Vick for the way he appears to have completely reformed his life though. I do respect him for his animal advocacy work after getting out, but I'm always going to view him in a different light.

I wonder how many times Bert has eaten out of the garbage.

Does not finding most black chicks attractive or not watching black porn make me racist

Wow bret thought the net worths stated on the internet were accurate? Wow hes really dumb

Is dandy interchangeable with vampire?

Paul F. Tompkins is a Dandy Fop

Bert going blond hair blue eyes just like hitler. I dig it

Any state with a federal pen...

The KKK was actually founded in Indiana, a half hour away from where I live. They built my city's original hospital and I deadass just found this out this week

We all have problems VODKA! Id buy it.. Lol

Here i am convinced that faint aggressive laughter in the background is actually the podcast seguraverse version of a laugh track.

The funniest part was at the end where you thought you were doin' shows.

I will be bert’s side bitch. I will

They Say nights Templar *my brain* THIS WEEK ON THE CURSE OF OAK ISLAND

"eyes closed karate" kids a genius

Please pick random activities from the hobby list and send these two to do it ... fuck that would be hilarious

The guy laughing in the background needs to stop! My face and stomach hurt from laughing so much!

The pixel things in Japanese porn is normal. That's what Japanese people's junk looks like!

I too can freeze time and funk people! Except it's just dude for me! 😉😉😉😉

Bert needs to give all African Americans an apology lunch.

i came before watching this

I love when Bert bases others will power off his own. Like “REALLY YOU JUST HAVENT SMOKED CIGARETTES FOR 10 YEARS” “C’MON YOU JUST DONT SMOKE WEED OR DRINK EVER?” 😂

Im starting get worried about our friend barry christmas

That fanny pack could hold a lot of kool-aid

Thank god you finished the pie talk

In this episode: two people cannot comprehend what a hobby is because they are lucky enough what they love is what they do, so their work is their hobby.

Im python...

so bert you would be like ricky nelson in the song traveling man made a lot of stops and a different girl in every town just asking ... much love from hamilton ontario canada

Wow, im disappointed in bert, tom your my favorite now!!

Bro no way! My dad owns a bar and its literally called The Rickshaw Lounge

i’m sad that i’ve seen the man freeze time man 🥴😂

E Clampus Vitus is the secret society you guys need!

my parents are birders, that comment had me rolling

The KKK is still very active in and around Lancaster PA

The orange sauce is from la Victoria taqueria and can confirmed it is delicious

SKIP ADS - 3:28

Bert talks about buyin a lot of stuff all the time , sounds like he hit the lotto

This episode came on auto play during my sleep. Thankfully I was woke up by Berts SCREECHING laughter and horrible attempts to talk in the HIGHEST pitch NOISE ever made by a man. Nothing better than hearing that crap at 3 am, thanks Bart!

Michael Vick as celebrity coach for the puppy bowl sent me 💀 bert is my favorite rogan leach

Literally the reason I love you guys so much is because you’re so honest about your lives which includes your kids. That is more relatable to me than anything Tosh does. Please don’t stop telling jokes about your families

christie mack went to highschool with me :] CHICAGO WASSUP

You guys should make this podcast like 3 hours long

58:09

Thank christ Tom is out there teaching people how to say Louisville

To answer your question no there is no better smell than gasoline

India is such a backwards country. One reason for the epidemic is the constant rape. Another reason is because there is some backwards belief that if you have sex with a Virginin, it cures any STD. So they sell 4 and 5 year old little girls to be used by men with STDs, including HIV