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Ep. 19 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

The 2 Bears, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are back in their 1 Cave today. Bert just got off the road, how is he doing? Tom and Bert are starting to realize they have no hobbies, so they start to entertain the idea of starting one. Will Bert become a Dandy? Will Bert buy a car on the podcast? These are all hobbies discussed. Plus, Tom and Bert look into joining a secret society.


  1. Steven Piontkowski

    Steven Piontkowski

    9 өдрийн өмнө

    Elton John is a 2 billion dollar man. @@@@ that fake news.

  2. L Kristoff

    L Kristoff

    9 өдрийн өмнө

    Misty stone has been around for years. Cherokee, ever heard of her? You gotta know Lacey duvalle...

  3. BrotherofLink3


    12 өдрийн өмнө

    Tom @34:04 had some foreshadowing going on. Real high and tight.

  4. Jeremy LeFave

    Jeremy LeFave

    20 өдрийн өмнө

    A bird is so pathetic 🤣

  5. [Beppi-don]


    20 өдрийн өмнө

    1:27:26 tfw 10 milligram Tom enters the building.

  6. Simon Wang

    Simon Wang

    23 өдрийн өмнө

    The nervous veterinarian complimentarily include because zephyr genetically practise amongst a troubled competition. mature, heartbreaking christopher

  7. Dan B

    Dan B

    23 өдрийн өмнө

    Is there anyone who could so perfectly compliment Berts dreaming and crazy ideas than Tom who just sits there calmly letting it happen

  8. Karl Kleve

    Karl Kleve

    23 өдрийн өмнө

    Bart trying to cover up the existence of his Klan buddies

  9. Karl Kleve

    Karl Kleve

    23 өдрийн өмнө

    “I was drunk when we got there”: the Burnt Crystals story

  10. Frankie Cuellar

    Frankie Cuellar

    26 өдрийн өмнө

    This is all I hear while I'm at working all day in my earbuds. I just put it on stuff.

  11. Lucas Ayers

    Lucas Ayers

    27 өдрийн өмнө

    I could totally see bert getting into aquariums for a hobby. Between aquascaping with different types of rocks and plants, or breeding different kinds of fish. I could 100% see Bert doin that.

    • Lucas Ayers

      Lucas Ayers

      27 өдрийн өмнө

      Oh it's also a really addicting hobby. When I got into aquariums I started off with one aquarium and within two months I found my self going through FB marketplace almost daily and got 9 aquariums within the next couple months and only reason I don't have more is because I ran out of space haha

  12. Green goose Guava juice

    Green goose Guava juice

    Сарын өмнө

    I pray that bert stops drinking and gets sober

  13. Griffin Salmon

    Griffin Salmon

    Сарын өмнө

    Bert not making alc compant just before covid was a huge business mistake

  14. Scott W

    Scott W

    Сарын өмнө

    Eyes closed karate seems like it should be a thing.

  15. Dale Fry

    Dale Fry

    Сарын өмнө

    When bert said I'm the opposite of a dandy I thought of Dundee just a second before he said it 🤣

  16. Bodhi Legaspi

    Bodhi Legaspi

    Сарын өмнө

    I love when they say they're bummed don't really have hobbies...and then they legit SHIT on every hobby😂😂 "PASS!!" 😂😂😂

  17. 마마맘마마마마마ᅡ


    Сарын өмнө

    The outstanding desire focally communicate because scorpion mechanically harass pace a rare metal. light, stiff news

  18. April James

    April James

    Сарын өмнө

    Isn't Steve Harvey daughter in the adult film industry?

  19. Seth Ganz

    Seth Ganz

    2 сарын өмнө

    Jamie obrien lol

  20. Matt Smith

    Matt Smith

    2 сарын өмнө

    "Name of the bar is Rickshaws, out front we have 10 Rickshaws"

  21. Mac Donovan

    Mac Donovan

    2 сарын өмнө

    I'm pretty sure Bert needs to distill a bourbon mash called "Bert's Mash-chine Bourbon"

  22. Kip


    2 сарын өмнө

    Calling himself hilarious. That is hilarious.

  23. Zach Andrew

    Zach Andrew

    2 сарын өмнө

    I played D1 baseball and let me tell you....the bus rides are the best part of it. the camaraderie is something that is unmatched. bus rides, team meals, practice, man those moments are what you remember the most. I miss it every day

  24. jharpermxschool


    2 сарын өмнө

    Bert get into motorcycles. I’ll teach you

  25. Petey Wheatstraw

    Petey Wheatstraw

    3 сарын өмнө

    30:00 Ah, memories. I remember my 1991Dodge Caravan SE. With the complete engine and drivetrain out of a Dodge Stealth R/T.

  26. Tennessee Elliott

    Tennessee Elliott

    3 сарын өмнө

    I have a white cadi Eldorado didnt know its expensive

  27. Michael P.

    Michael P.

    3 сарын өмнө

    Burt's drunk

  28. Christopher Middlebrook

    Christopher Middlebrook

    3 сарын өмнө

    I FUCKING LOVE YOU GUYS. Bert.. your my favourite, you "'pretend" to be dumb and segura plays it straight and you both are just 2 funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnny dudes shootin the shit segura is my favourite stand up act but bert I love everything you do

  29. Christopher Middlebrook

    Christopher Middlebrook

    3 сарын өмнө


  30. SofaKing's Awesome Show

    SofaKing's Awesome Show

    3 сарын өмнө

    i love how ole tom drives the gas truck right to burts fire

  31. jeff h

    jeff h

    4 сарын өмнө

    I've been trying to listen to you two fucks for like a week at work with an earbud in but there's so many ads they actually interrupt your live reeds I have to go back to my phone and press Skip and it's a whole thing sorry guys

  32. Nick C

    Nick C

    4 сарын өмнө

    No Patrick........Alcoholism is not a hobby

  33. Nick C

    Nick C

    4 сарын өмнө

    This week on 2B1C...Bert impulse buys a vintage Caddy Convertible

  34. SonikBlu23


    4 сарын өмнө

    Did Bert have a stroke towards the end ?

  35. Eldredge Solsong

    Eldredge Solsong

    4 сарын өмнө

    I would pay to see comics DND RPG

  36. immahacker1


    4 сарын өмнө

    Are we really gonna ignore that When they were talking about who to hire as drivers at their bar BERT REALLY SAID “ILLEGAL ALIENS” 💀💀😂

  37. deaglez2970


    4 сарын өмнө

    hearing bert saying he smoked a cig with toothpaste on it and called it a jailhouse cig just confirms to me that he is a compulsive liar

  38. Shaboob


    4 сарын өмнө

    Fuck man these guys 👏🏼

  39. IG:12centcomics


    5 сарын өмнө

    California duh Anaheim is like klan kentral

  40. persian perversion

    persian perversion

    5 сарын өмнө

    Bert is his funniest with tom and burr

  41. Centuriön Music

    Centuriön Music

    5 сарын өмнө

    Boy thank god Bert didn't buy a bar in 2020 😂

  42. xXKiller VibezXx

    xXKiller VibezXx

    5 сарын өмнө

    Talking about the states the klan is in and completely misses Mississippi, prolly the #1 klan filled state

  43. kawaiiafangirl


    6 сарын өмнө

    Bert: Astrology? Tom: Astronomy. Bert: Astromony? Tom: ASTRONOMY. Bert: You got it. Pass. God bless Tom Segura.

    • kawaiiafangirl


      6 сарын өмнө

      Ceramics and "poetry"? "dwarfism"? What's Ordo Templi "Orientals"? 1:42:13 I won't even try to spell what Bert is saying here (I know he's trying to say Once Upon a Time in Hollywood). Bert is borderline autistic.

  44. TonkaTruckk636


    6 сарын өмнө

    Man, thank you for the awesome words about Vick. I'm from Georgia and this is the second podcast I've heard tonight mentioning Falcons MVP's, the other was Warrick Dunn. I've always hated how Vick was shit on.. he was so damn good. #GoodOlDays Btw, Jeep SRT8 trackhawk. Murdered out, exhaust, maybe some engine upgrades, and "bigboi" for the plate. Perfect dad car for Bert 😂🤙

  45. Tuham Meham

    Tuham Meham

    6 сарын өмнө

    I’ve seen the joker I’ve seen once upon ah time I’m in Hollywood

  46. Steve V

    Steve V

    6 сарын өмнө

    I was really hoping Maine wouldn't make the KKK list.. Maine seems like such a great state until you look behind the curtains.

  47. Benjam Mo

    Benjam Mo

    6 сарын өмнө

    Bert is so far from a dandy. Dude wipes his ass with a bear hand. He would have to change everything personality and lifestyle about himself.

  48. 2Bears1BankAccnt


    6 сарын өмнө

    Bert “Daddy’s home carry on exactly as you were cuz I’m no help” Kriescjhhhjemrrrrr

  49. David Thilen

    David Thilen

    6 сарын өмнө

    Bert fat

  50. Justin Sliker

    Justin Sliker

    6 сарын өмнө

    It would be even better if Tom ever got a word in.

  51. ajpatino99


    6 сарын өмнө

    Brent chrysler🤣🤣🤣

  52. ajpatino99


    6 сарын өмнө

    Hey bert christy mack is also my favorite

  53. Monique Gamble

    Monique Gamble

    6 сарын өмнө

    I love these guys. When they laugh it fills my heart with joy

  54. Maggie McNeely

    Maggie McNeely

    7 сарын өмнө

    Evansville Indiana!!!!

  55. TheSnarkyBrit


    7 сарын өмнө

    The only thing I have wholly disagreed with you on is the dog fighting thing. They can't even advocate for themselves the way humans can and he should have spent/still be spending MASSIVE amounts of time behind bars for murdering a huge number of dogs. Frankly it's disgusting and IMO animal abuse should be prosecuted in the same way that crimes against humanity are. It takes a special kind of asshole to hurt an animal that only wants to be loved. Credit to Michael Vick for the way he appears to have completely reformed his life though. I do respect him for his animal advocacy work after getting out, but I'm always going to view him in a different light.

  56. Matt Lombardi

    Matt Lombardi

    7 сарын өмнө

    I wonder how many times Bert has eaten out of the garbage.

  57. Powerful


    7 сарын өмнө

    Does not finding most black chicks attractive or not watching black porn make me racist

  58. Powerful


    7 сарын өмнө

    Wow bret thought the net worths stated on the internet were accurate? Wow hes really dumb

  59. Brad Mullins

    Brad Mullins

    7 сарын өмнө

    Is dandy interchangeable with vampire?

  60. michael lane

    michael lane

    7 сарын өмнө

    Paul F. Tompkins is a Dandy Fop

  61. Mason Rouse

    Mason Rouse

    7 сарын өмнө

    Bert going blond hair blue eyes just like hitler. I dig it

  62. Danny House

    Danny House

    7 сарын өмнө

    Any state with a federal pen...

  63. jiffyjeffyjeff


    7 сарын өмнө

    The KKK was actually founded in Indiana, a half hour away from where I live. They built my city's original hospital and I deadass just found this out this week

  64. matt tomlinson

    matt tomlinson

    7 сарын өмнө

    We all have problems VODKA! Id buy it.. Lol

  65. Tyler munday

    Tyler munday

    7 сарын өмнө

    Here i am convinced that faint aggressive laughter in the background is actually the podcast seguraverse version of a laugh track.

  66. WegotTheBOMB


    7 сарын өмнө

    The funniest part was at the end where you thought you were doin' shows.

  67. Carolyn Rasmussen

    Carolyn Rasmussen

    7 сарын өмнө

    I will be bert’s side bitch. I will

  68. koyt norton

    koyt norton

    7 сарын өмнө

    They Say nights Templar *my brain* THIS WEEK ON THE CURSE OF OAK ISLAND

  69. WhatUpBigPimps


    7 сарын өмнө

    "eyes closed karate" kids a genius

  70. Jeffy Ripz

    Jeffy Ripz

    7 сарын өмнө

    Please pick random activities from the hobby list and send these two to do it ... fuck that would be hilarious

  71. BirdOfHermes83 D.

    BirdOfHermes83 D.

    8 сарын өмнө

    The guy laughing in the background needs to stop! My face and stomach hurt from laughing so much!

  72. BirdOfHermes83 D.

    BirdOfHermes83 D.

    8 сарын өмнө

    The pixel things in Japanese porn is normal. That's what Japanese people's junk looks like!

  73. BirdOfHermes83 D.

    BirdOfHermes83 D.

    8 сарын өмнө

    I too can freeze time and funk people! Except it's just dude for me! 😉😉😉😉

  74. Legion, We are many

    Legion, We are many

    8 сарын өмнө

    Bert needs to give all African Americans an apology lunch.

  75. VeteranGalaxy9


    8 сарын өмнө

    i came before watching this

  76. weonlylaughhere


    8 сарын өмнө

    I love when Bert bases others will power off his own. Like “REALLY YOU JUST HAVENT SMOKED CIGARETTES FOR 10 YEARS” “C’MON YOU JUST DONT SMOKE WEED OR DRINK EVER?” 😂

  77. Cole Thompson

    Cole Thompson

    8 сарын өмнө

    Im starting get worried about our friend barry christmas

  78. Eli Farmer

    Eli Farmer

    8 сарын өмнө

    That fanny pack could hold a lot of kool-aid

  79. Bryan Smith

    Bryan Smith

    8 сарын өмнө

    Thank god you finished the pie talk

  80. Fleksimir


    8 сарын өмнө

    In this episode: two people cannot comprehend what a hobby is because they are lucky enough what they love is what they do, so their work is their hobby.

  81. Jush Backer

    Jush Backer

    8 сарын өмнө

    Im python...

  82. michael edward

    michael edward

    8 сарын өмнө

    so bert you would be like ricky nelson in the song traveling man made a lot of stops and a different girl in every town just asking ... much love from hamilton ontario canada

  83. Kimberly


    8 сарын өмнө

    Wow, im disappointed in bert, tom your my favorite now!!

  84. Austin Lavin

    Austin Lavin

    8 сарын өмнө

    Bro no way! My dad owns a bar and its literally called The Rickshaw Lounge

  85. MarcoVisuals


    8 сарын өмнө

    i’m sad that i’ve seen the man freeze time man 🥴😂

  86. Sarah Castillo

    Sarah Castillo

    8 сарын өмнө

    E Clampus Vitus is the secret society you guys need!

  87. gmazing82


    8 сарын өмнө

    my parents are birders, that comment had me rolling

    • Powerful


      7 сарын өмнө

      Holy shit thats fucking embarrassing bro

  88. Colin


    8 сарын өмнө

    The KKK is still very active in and around Lancaster PA

  89. Hector Chavarin

    Hector Chavarin

    8 сарын өмнө

    The orange sauce is from la Victoria taqueria and can confirmed it is delicious

  90. Steve Regish

    Steve Regish

    9 сарын өмнө

    SKIP ADS - 3:28

  91. Clos Montana

    Clos Montana

    9 сарын өмнө

    Bert talks about buyin a lot of stuff all the time , sounds like he hit the lotto

  92. xtriple0000


    9 сарын өмнө

    This episode came on auto play during my sleep. Thankfully I was woke up by Berts SCREECHING laughter and horrible attempts to talk in the HIGHEST pitch NOISE ever made by a man. Nothing better than hearing that crap at 3 am, thanks Bart!

  93. Nicole Wragge

    Nicole Wragge

    9 сарын өмнө

    Michael Vick as celebrity coach for the puppy bowl sent me 💀 bert is my favorite rogan leach

  94. Marshall


    9 сарын өмнө

    Literally the reason I love you guys so much is because you’re so honest about your lives which includes your kids. That is more relatable to me than anything Tosh does. Please don’t stop telling jokes about your families

  95. trip


    9 сарын өмнө

    christie mack went to highschool with me :] CHICAGO WASSUP

  96. Mitchell Resing

    Mitchell Resing

    9 сарын өмнө

    You guys should make this podcast like 3 hours long

  97. Koolaid Jammers

    Koolaid Jammers

    9 сарын өмнө


  98. Jordan Evans

    Jordan Evans

    10 сарын өмнө

    Thank christ Tom is out there teaching people how to say Louisville

  99. Hands of stone7

    Hands of stone7

    10 сарын өмнө

    To answer your question no there is no better smell than gasoline

  100. Dean Snyder

    Dean Snyder

    10 сарын өмнө

    India is such a backwards country. One reason for the epidemic is the constant rape. Another reason is because there is some backwards belief that if you have sex with a Virginin, it cures any STD. So they sell 4 and 5 year old little girls to be used by men with STDs, including HIV