I'm in top 2percent sweet but Michael Jordan says he has a 9 inch soft and 12 inch hard

Bert: "I only want gifts from you Tom, I'm so sick and tired of terrible gifts, like socks!" Also Bert: "Hey everybody, Feetures Socks are the PERFECT GIFT for that special someone in your life!"

I love the gay energy towards the latter half mommies, y'all are fantastic and the latinox (correct term apparently) are indeed sexy as hell. I'm with Bert, dog fuckin aside

Ron is the best

Didn't us loose to Canada? Or should I say us gets involved in wars at the end then claim victory ? Ahahah

Luck doesn't pay off without hard work

Don’t disrespect Kansas burnt

Anyone know what video it is, where Tom is laughing out of breath at 1:02:00 😂

Brett crystals is pretty gae

Hottest Mexican male: Michael Trevino. Hottest Mexican female: Salma Hayek

TOTALLY agree with Bert. 100%. It is not just about hard work. If it was just hard work we would have close to zero people living in poverty. It's work, socioeconomic status at every stage in your life, and luck. 100%.

My gf is exactly like that. When she drinks all she wants to do is eat and she eats until she makes herself sick. If she is still drunk enough she will keep going. The worst part is all she wants is fast food. Kinda like Bert

Who else loves Tim and Bret??

"Vietnam War - We'll be back" -Brent "Explosivity" Chrysler

We are Back to Back World War Champs

Antonio Banderas....the sexiest puss in boots lol

If I am not mistaken....Stallone had his face cut with a surgery knife during a c-section birth and it damaged a nerves/nerves in his face...

it's too bad that fall didnt make him autistic

Who ever prescribes Bert Xanax would definitely stop if they listened to 2bears, every other episode he talks about miss using it.

I need a Florida birthday gift buddy. I'm starting you off with drugs and guns.

"I juan a contest" lol @ 21:50 mark

Pleaseeeee clip the gay gift video my goodness I need to send this to my sisters 😂😂😂😂

Burnt “Hollywood privilege” crysure

For December do a black jesus type thing

The most relate able part of this podcast was Bert’s willingness to die before going to the dentist

Self loathing white guys really perpetuate "white privilege"

Blert is the posterboy for fastfood.

Who the fuck taught Barf how to speak?

Barry and Tom should switch sides one episode

Bert is annoying

41:19 This is THE best email Ymh has ever gotten.

I usually don't mind ads, but my God are these getting worse

39:18 addressing the master very nice

Why is nobody talking about how fucking funny Ron's cameo was. Calling Bert "The Slave Driver" unprompted was hysterical 🤣

Just imagine living in one of these countries that the USA has bombed and watching this. Honestly I think this would be more horrifying than being hated lol.

Tom must feel how my mom does when I drunk call her and never shut up! 😒

September is back to school

January should be tom in the hospital with his broken arm....lmfao

I miss the comedy of Nadav Googling poorly

Sorry bert

I miss 4 podcasts and I swear bert gained a bunch of weight???

gayest episode

i really like Tom and really genuinely hate Bert.

Phentermine. Bert you have the same eating issue as me. I took this pill for 2 months and lost 35lbs the hunger just isn't there. I never get hunger pains, my body sometimes doesn't even tell me I'm hungry. I promise this is worth it, it gets you to a place where things seem manageable.

August: Back to school...... Little School girls

1:04:38

I'm a straight woman I find it so hard to buy men gifts. But they say things they like that you have to look for so I guess that's special lol getting them socks or soap is so boring 😂

“There’s a Rogan’s size thumb in there.” Maybe a toe, Toe Rogan.

3:14 V I E T N A M

Brent “where’s my white privilege” Crunchbar

why does bert want to leave his daughters alone so bad?

"You do realize you are outside the bubble right now"....lol

When are people going to admit that Jerry Seinfeld isn’t funny

Opiates will fix the booze but then you’re hooked on pills. 🤷🏻‍♂️👍

2 Santa's 1 Sleigh. Come on.

I legit thought he said how many whores has America won

Where's the Fucking Calendar?!?!?!

Sexy calendar ideas? Shouts out to Jim fkn Jefferies for the idea in April!! #april18th if you know you know

And idk who has burped more on this podcast more, but I'd honestly put my bet on Tom. Cuz holy fuck... is he ever obnoxious about. I mean the guy drinks 3 gallons of kool aid and Titos a day. I know that it's not carbonated, and that tends to give you more gas. But you call yourself the water champ?? Get fucking real dude. 😭😭 love you guys. Keep it up, and keep me alive thru the pandy

Aries Spears killed it on that NBA Comedy Special. Soo funny.

I know exactly what Bert means.

54:00

Hey bert I'm from Buffalo and we don't mess around with are food I know we're were your coming from were you loss control with food when you start drinking . The boozes makes your mind more relax so you think less about all else.Keep strong buddy

I am sad to discover I share a birthday with Brent

Bert is seriously worrying, btw very interesting listening to you guys talk what movies that guy was in for 20 mins

brutal honesty = im a bitch

"Lisa left eyeeees losesss way more than Andreee Rissons." Bob Chrysler you gorgeous train-wreck... must have looped that back a dozen times...ribs hurt...so funny.

55:00 loving the Xanax talk

47:50 we got the same diet plan

I love how they ask everyone to search the most random and vague topics on google, then get mad when the results are equally as random and vague 😂 maybe it’s the bears and not the googler?

"February I'm thinking Black history" said nobody ever lol

"can eating give you cancer?" ... drinking 36 cans of fluid replacement, so he will probably die of drinking too much water. it happens every year, when acting R-rated even drinking water is dangerous for you. Bert, please. try something else, move to another country and stay off the internet. or just maybe... move on early, so people might get something out of you... a lesson or something. You don't act for 5 seconds... you are just yourself i'm afraid.... R-rated. So don't give him a platform.

It's time for Bert to move on to his own channel... I really enjoy Tom, but getting tired of skipping R-rated Bert. So, good luck Bert... keep up whatever you are doing, move to Florida and stay of the internet. Tom, you just keep being yourself.

how do just mute bert? I cannot stand his stupid screeching crackle.

...kinda starting to think bert might be a lil gay

Bert fat

Is that joe rogan laughing in the background?

Saw Diaz cause he was getting older, saw Bert... well cause we all have a feeling don’t we

Huh. My birthday is Jan 19th. I wonder if Tom is a fortune teller?

Bret Krystal is all hyped up

How many wars has America fought itself ??

It drives me fucking nuts when people say oh this one thing is why person a made it. Nah bra. It's a combination of talent, luck, and hard work, pretty much always. ALL THREE.

I hate bert.

Damn did they really fire Nadav 😂

"Shot a few people"- this is a funny episode XD #peace!

Who the F is Brent

My car ran 1,000 miles this year, but it's still falling apart.

Bert sucks so bad

Military is the test rabbits for that vaccine

I knew a girl from Africa who said her whole village believes in The Undertaker. When she tried to explain its all show-biz they disowned her for blasphemy.

.

I think Bert has went genuinely racist for the whole “Mexican actor” part

Greatest opening five seconds EVER.

Could Bert be gayer????? On hot Mexican guys??!!!!!!

1:01:50 the Sean Evans interview. 😂😂 do you remember?? Lis tala stalosez

Bart is the only person on the planet who could make a miracle drink look like its unhealthy.

The Bell’s palsy part where Bert goes “George Clooney! *gasp* it can get any of us” had me dying

Where the fuck is Nadav?

Hey Bert quick fix... Self control

Berts water glass is gross.