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Ep. 58 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

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Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer start off this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave by discussing how many wars America has won and lost, Tom's newest podcast "Tom Talks," and Bert's new health drink. They also cover Kevin Hart new special, Bert and LeeAnn's dinner with Tom and Christina P, and handsome Mexican actors. They react to listener-submitted "gay gift" emails, toss around ideas for a 2 Bears calendar, and watch Bert's drunkest moment from 2 Bears Live.


  1. MrJtin69


    3 өдрийн өмнө

    I'm in top 2percent sweet but Michael Jordan says he has a 9 inch soft and 12 inch hard

  2. theLEGENDofROBB


    4 өдрийн өмнө

    Bert: "I only want gifts from you Tom, I'm so sick and tired of terrible gifts, like socks!" Also Bert: "Hey everybody, Feetures Socks are the PERFECT GIFT for that special someone in your life!"

  3. mybrainsondrums


    6 өдрийн өмнө

    I love the gay energy towards the latter half mommies, y'all are fantastic and the latinox (correct term apparently) are indeed sexy as hell. I'm with Bert, dog fuckin aside

  4. MrJtin69


    7 өдрийн өмнө

    Ron is the best

  5. MrJtin69


    7 өдрийн өмнө

    Didn't us loose to Canada? Or should I say us gets involved in wars at the end then claim victory ? Ahahah

  6. MrJtin69


    7 өдрийн өмнө

    Luck doesn't pay off without hard work

  7. Grady Bare

    Grady Bare

    14 өдрийн өмнө

    Don’t disrespect Kansas burnt

  8. Jr


    17 өдрийн өмнө

    Anyone know what video it is, where Tom is laughing out of breath at 1:02:00 😂

  9. что происходит

    что происходит

    20 өдрийн өмнө

    Brett crystals is pretty gae

  10. Maria Elizabeth

    Maria Elizabeth

    23 өдрийн өмнө

    Hottest Mexican male: Michael Trevino. Hottest Mexican female: Salma Hayek

  11. Maria Elizabeth

    Maria Elizabeth

    23 өдрийн өмнө

    TOTALLY agree with Bert. 100%. It is not just about hard work. If it was just hard work we would have close to zero people living in poverty. It's work, socioeconomic status at every stage in your life, and luck. 100%.

  12. Alexander Reeve

    Alexander Reeve

    Сарын өмнө

    My gf is exactly like that. When she drinks all she wants to do is eat and she eats until she makes herself sick. If she is still drunk enough she will keep going. The worst part is all she wants is fast food. Kinda like Bert

  13. Really OK

    Really OK

    Сарын өмнө

    Who else loves Tim and Bret??

  14. adrian_olak


    Сарын өмнө

    "Vietnam War - We'll be back" -Brent "Explosivity" Chrysler

  15. john salchichon

    john salchichon

    Сарын өмнө

    We are Back to Back World War Champs

  16. Jubreakit Jubawdit

    Jubreakit Jubawdit

    Сарын өмнө

    Antonio Banderas....the sexiest puss in boots lol

  17. Jubreakit Jubawdit

    Jubreakit Jubawdit

    Сарын өмнө

    If I am not mistaken....Stallone had his face cut with a surgery knife during a c-section birth and it damaged a nerves/nerves in his face...

  18. dankwrasslin experience

    dankwrasslin experience

    Сарын өмнө

    it's too bad that fall didnt make him autistic

  19. Fat Man

    Fat Man

    Сарын өмнө

    Who ever prescribes Bert Xanax would definitely stop if they listened to 2bears, every other episode he talks about miss using it.

    • Ricky Eska

      Ricky Eska

      27 өдрийн өмнө

      As someone who feels like they need it I can't believe he got a script for it with how much he drinks

  20. MegadethTillDeth


    Сарын өмнө

    I need a Florida birthday gift buddy. I'm starting you off with drugs and guns.

  21. Jessie Reddish

    Jessie Reddish

    Сарын өмнө

    "I juan a contest" lol @ 21:50 mark

  22. bizbaby


    Сарын өмнө

    Pleaseeeee clip the gay gift video my goodness I need to send this to my sisters 😂😂😂😂

  23. Coolhigh6000


    Сарын өмнө

    Burnt “Hollywood privilege” crysure

  24. dirty soap

    dirty soap

    Сарын өмнө

    For December do a black jesus type thing

  25. Christopher Foerstel

    Christopher Foerstel

    Сарын өмнө

    The most relate able part of this podcast was Bert’s willingness to die before going to the dentist

  26. jmans56


    Сарын өмнө

    Self loathing white guys really perpetuate "white privilege"

  27. Talon Man

    Talon Man

    Сарын өмнө

    Blert is the posterboy for fastfood.

  28. Jordan Pearsall

    Jordan Pearsall

    Сарын өмнө

    Who the fuck taught Barf how to speak?

  29. Evan Atwood

    Evan Atwood

    2 сарын өмнө

    Barry and Tom should switch sides one episode

  30. Angel Rodriguez

    Angel Rodriguez

    2 сарын өмнө

    Bert is annoying

  31. Riley


    2 сарын өмнө

    41:19 This is THE best email Ymh has ever gotten.

  32. Thrurh Demon

    Thrurh Demon

    2 сарын өмнө

    I usually don't mind ads, but my God are these getting worse

  33. Harrison Clark

    Harrison Clark

    2 сарын өмнө

    39:18 addressing the master very nice

  34. Mr. Jish

    Mr. Jish

    2 сарын өмнө

    Why is nobody talking about how fucking funny Ron's cameo was. Calling Bert "The Slave Driver" unprompted was hysterical 🤣

  35. VeryNice


    2 сарын өмнө

    Just imagine living in one of these countries that the USA has bombed and watching this. Honestly I think this would be more horrifying than being hated lol.

  36. Jennifer Collins

    Jennifer Collins

    2 сарын өмнө

    Tom must feel how my mom does when I drunk call her and never shut up! 😒

  37. God Almighty

    God Almighty

    2 сарын өмнө

    September is back to school

  38. God Almighty

    God Almighty

    2 сарын өмнө

    January should be tom in the hospital with his broken arm....lmfao

  39. Ben


    2 сарын өмнө

    I miss the comedy of Nadav Googling poorly

  40. special k

    special k

    2 сарын өмнө

    Sorry bert

  41. special k

    special k

    2 сарын өмнө

    I miss 4 podcasts and I swear bert gained a bunch of weight???

  42. Dylan Branecki

    Dylan Branecki

    2 сарын өмнө

    gayest episode

  43. Undergroundman


    2 сарын өмнө

    i really like Tom and really genuinely hate Bert.

  44. Andrew Sundin

    Andrew Sundin

    2 сарын өмнө

    Phentermine. Bert you have the same eating issue as me. I took this pill for 2 months and lost 35lbs the hunger just isn't there. I never get hunger pains, my body sometimes doesn't even tell me I'm hungry. I promise this is worth it, it gets you to a place where things seem manageable.

  45. Veto 12

    Veto 12

    2 сарын өмнө

    August: Back to school...... Little School girls

  46. gio please

    gio please

    2 сарын өмнө


  47. Steph Jane

    Steph Jane

    2 сарын өмнө

    I'm a straight woman I find it so hard to buy men gifts. But they say things they like that you have to look for so I guess that's special lol getting them socks or soap is so boring 😂

  48. Morgan


    2 сарын өмнө

    “There’s a Rogan’s size thumb in there.” Maybe a toe, Toe Rogan.

    • Bob bobson

      Bob bobson

      2 сарын өмнө

      Tss fawk yeah home run

  49. Top Cat

    Top Cat

    2 сарын өмнө

    3:14 V I E T N A M

  50. Luke Berthiaume

    Luke Berthiaume

    2 сарын өмнө

    Brent “where’s my white privilege” Crunchbar

  51. Andrew Urzua

    Andrew Urzua

    2 сарын өмнө

    why does bert want to leave his daughters alone so bad?

  52. Andy R

    Andy R

    2 сарын өмнө

    "You do realize you are outside the bubble right now"....lol

  53. Devon Yeager

    Devon Yeager

    2 сарын өмнө

    When are people going to admit that Jerry Seinfeld isn’t funny

  54. The 1 Corn Pop

    The 1 Corn Pop

    2 сарын өмнө

    Opiates will fix the booze but then you’re hooked on pills. 🤷🏻‍♂️👍

  55. Jesus Murillo

    Jesus Murillo

    2 сарын өмнө

    2 Santa's 1 Sleigh. Come on.

  56. Taylor


    2 сарын өмнө

    I legit thought he said how many whores has America won

  57. Jesse Harms

    Jesse Harms

    2 сарын өмнө

    Where's the Fucking Calendar?!?!?!

    • Jesse Harms

      Jesse Harms

      2 сарын өмнө

      Also, not to be cisgendered (I just learned how to spell that); I'm a regular dude who will enjoy it over and over again... and I'm 6' tall exactly. I think that was in my Whororscope.

  58. Josh Bacon

    Josh Bacon

    2 сарын өмнө

    Sexy calendar ideas? Shouts out to Jim fkn Jefferies for the idea in April!! #april18th if you know you know

  59. Josh Bacon

    Josh Bacon

    2 сарын өмнө

    And idk who has burped more on this podcast more, but I'd honestly put my bet on Tom. Cuz holy fuck... is he ever obnoxious about. I mean the guy drinks 3 gallons of kool aid and Titos a day. I know that it's not carbonated, and that tends to give you more gas. But you call yourself the water champ?? Get fucking real dude. 😭😭 love you guys. Keep it up, and keep me alive thru the pandy

  60. Mathiu Truhile

    Mathiu Truhile

    2 сарын өмнө

    Aries Spears killed it on that NBA Comedy Special. Soo funny.

  61. Anthony Nilsen

    Anthony Nilsen

    2 сарын өмнө

    I know exactly what Bert means.

  62. Aurora


    2 сарын өмнө


  63. Josh ODell

    Josh ODell

    2 сарын өмнө

    Hey bert I'm from Buffalo and we don't mess around with are food I know we're were your coming from were you loss control with food when you start drinking . The boozes makes your mind more relax so you think less about all else.Keep strong buddy

  64. Iris Ovalle

    Iris Ovalle

    2 сарын өмнө

    I am sad to discover I share a birthday with Brent

  65. Strappin


    2 сарын өмнө

    Bert is seriously worrying, btw very interesting listening to you guys talk what movies that guy was in for 20 mins

  66. whiskey_bent


    2 сарын өмнө

    brutal honesty = im a bitch

  67. Davey LD

    Davey LD

    2 сарын өмнө

    "Lisa left eyeeees losesss way more than Andreee Rissons." Bob Chrysler you gorgeous train-wreck... must have looped that back a dozen times...ribs hurt...so funny.

  68. Mxxico420


    2 сарын өмнө

    55:00 loving the Xanax talk

  69. Mxxico420


    2 сарын өмнө

    47:50 we got the same diet plan

  70. Mike Oxlong

    Mike Oxlong

    2 сарын өмнө

    I love how they ask everyone to search the most random and vague topics on google, then get mad when the results are equally as random and vague 😂 maybe it’s the bears and not the googler?

  71. BPB9973952


    2 сарын өмнө

    "February I'm thinking Black history" said nobody ever lol

  72. OZ


    2 сарын өмнө

    "can eating give you cancer?" ... drinking 36 cans of fluid replacement, so he will probably die of drinking too much water. it happens every year, when acting R-rated even drinking water is dangerous for you. Bert, please. try something else, move to another country and stay off the internet. or just maybe... move on early, so people might get something out of you... a lesson or something. You don't act for 5 seconds... you are just yourself i'm afraid.... R-rated. So don't give him a platform.

  73. OZ


    2 сарын өмнө

    It's time for Bert to move on to his own channel... I really enjoy Tom, but getting tired of skipping R-rated Bert. So, good luck Bert... keep up whatever you are doing, move to Florida and stay of the internet. Tom, you just keep being yourself.

  74. JLBHabs


    2 сарын өмнө

    how do just mute bert? I cannot stand his stupid screeching crackle.

  75. wlaaaaaaaaaa123


    2 сарын өмнө

    ...kinda starting to think bert might be a lil gay

  76. David Thilen

    David Thilen

    2 сарын өмнө

    Bert fat

  77. Pedro Hernandez

    Pedro Hernandez

    2 сарын өмнө

    Is that joe rogan laughing in the background?

  78. Alex Hernandez

    Alex Hernandez

    2 сарын өмнө

    Saw Diaz cause he was getting older, saw Bert... well cause we all have a feeling don’t we

  79. angusyoung119


    2 сарын өмнө

    Huh. My birthday is Jan 19th. I wonder if Tom is a fortune teller?

  80. PGC nasty

    PGC nasty

    2 сарын өмнө

    Bret Krystal is all hyped up

  81. Billzy N

    Billzy N

    2 сарын өмнө

    How many wars has America fought itself ??

  82. Kelly H

    Kelly H

    2 сарын өмнө

    It drives me fucking nuts when people say oh this one thing is why person a made it. Nah bra. It's a combination of talent, luck, and hard work, pretty much always. ALL THREE.

  83. nathan garcia

    nathan garcia

    2 сарын өмнө

    I hate bert.

  84. Levi Lebo

    Levi Lebo

    2 сарын өмнө

    Damn did they really fire Nadav 😂

  85. kush Kush

    kush Kush

    2 сарын өмнө

    "Shot a few people"- this is a funny episode XD #peace!

  86. zachary guidry

    zachary guidry

    2 сарын өмнө

    Who the F is Brent

  87. Liam Cody

    Liam Cody

    2 сарын өмнө

    My car ran 1,000 miles this year, but it's still falling apart.

  88. Adam Galliano

    Adam Galliano

    2 сарын өмнө

    Bert sucks so bad

  89. Robbie D

    Robbie D

    2 сарын өмнө

    Military is the test rabbits for that vaccine

  90. Ruki Slabaugh

    Ruki Slabaugh

    2 сарын өмнө

    I knew a girl from Africa who said her whole village believes in The Undertaker. When she tried to explain its all show-biz they disowned her for blasphemy.

    • Ruki Slabaugh

      Ruki Slabaugh

      2 сарын өмнө

      @Aurora really couldn't say, not in Capetown because I'd remember that. We only worked together a few years nearly a decade ago.

    • Aurora


      2 сарын өмнө

      Where in Africa?

  91. deric greenhaw

    deric greenhaw

    2 сарын өмнө


  92. Karl Kleve

    Karl Kleve

    2 сарын өмнө

    I think Bert has went genuinely racist for the whole “Mexican actor” part

  93. Charlie from Starkville, Mississippi

    Charlie from Starkville, Mississippi

    2 сарын өмнө

    Greatest opening five seconds EVER.

  94. Spooder


    2 сарын өмнө

    Could Bert be gayer????? On hot Mexican guys??!!!!!!

  95. Lutfi Hasani

    Lutfi Hasani

    2 сарын өмнө

    1:01:50 the Sean Evans interview. 😂😂 do you remember?? Lis tala stalosez

  96. Daniel Stankiewicz

    Daniel Stankiewicz

    2 сарын өмнө

    Bart is the only person on the planet who could make a miracle drink look like its unhealthy.

  97. Karan Das

    Karan Das

    2 сарын өмнө

    The Bell’s palsy part where Bert goes “George Clooney! *gasp* it can get any of us” had me dying

  98. miguel angel

    miguel angel

    2 сарын өмнө

    Where the fuck is Nadav?

  99. Charley H

    Charley H

    2 сарын өмнө

    Hey Bert quick fix... Self control

  100. Cameron Harris

    Cameron Harris

    2 сарын өмнө

    Berts water glass is gross.