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Things We Do When Nobody Is Looking! | Michael McIntyre Stand Up Comedy

Watch Michael McIntyre's stand up comedy special Showman, streaming now on Netflix!
www.netflix.com/title/81258970?s=i&trkid=13747225
.
Website: www.michaelmcintyre.co.uk/
Facebook: TheMichaelMcIntyre/
Twitter: @McInTweet

Сэтгэгдлүүд 

  1. pianogirl

    pianogirl

    Цагийн өмнө

    He obviously doesn’t know how plumbing works.

  2. Deb bie

    Deb bie

    Цагийн өмнө

    When l ask for directions and know the general direction I tell that to the stanger first. That saves me having to walk in the direction they have told me that I know is completely the wrong direction, or l tell them thanks and that first I have to go somewhere else that just happens to be in the direction I know I do need to be going in, then when the stanger is out of sight I ask someone else instead. Lol

  3. Sig Sigoise

    Sig Sigoise

    Өдрийн өмнө

    The best comedian.

  4. India Falconer

    India Falconer

    2 өдрийн өмнө

    I’ve written a song called Hear the calling. It’s about the feeling of knowing where you want to go, what you want to do and doing it. I think covid19 has redirected our purpose and made it clearer and I hope you can relate to this song. It would be amazing if you could give it a listen mnmore.info/bin/video/ibLG0cyid4fUpKw

  5. Anne Horrigan

    Anne Horrigan

    2 өдрийн өмнө

    ...You are my Sunshine today Michael, spot on!

  6. Alex Baines

    Alex Baines

    4 өдрийн өмнө

    I hate when you get cramps as well xx

  7. AngelFrosthia

    AngelFrosthia

    4 өдрийн өмнө

    Somehow got stuck on popcorn and a growing craving for it

  8. Robin The God

    Robin The God

    4 өдрийн өмнө

    Popcorn makes you stupid.

  9. Maisha Alam

    Maisha Alam

    5 өдрийн өмнө

    9:13 then feel angry but also they watch the time with a thankful angry smile🤣🤣

  10. Maisha Alam

    Maisha Alam

    5 өдрийн өмнө

    8:57 also I hope🤣🤣🤣🤣

  11. Maisha Alam

    Maisha Alam

    5 өдрийн өмнө

    8:33 I faced the situation multiple time and I thought ''do they think I look like an annoying ghost??''

  12. Maisha Alam

    Maisha Alam

    5 өдрийн өмнө

    6:20 it's true ''the conversation is over for a very long time'' because of my anger & disgusting feeling that the situation might come again 🤣🤣

  13. Jamie Vee

    Jamie Vee

    5 өдрийн өмнө

    6:22 See I’m the kind of person that if I get spat on during conversations, it it’s a close friend I will just wipe it off, maybe throw in a verbal indicator like “thanks for the spit” or I just wipe it away and keep going XD

  14. Jean mendes

    Jean mendes

    6 өдрийн өмнө

    I love him !!!! Normal routine things we do but the way he explains it is amazing.!!!!!

  15. Vinnie Boombadz

    Vinnie Boombadz

    6 өдрийн өмнө

    What if everyone is looking

  16. Amanda Richards

    Amanda Richards

    6 өдрийн өмнө

    Many moons ago, when I was at boarding school getting ready for the breakfast bell to go off, I wasn't feeling very well when the girl in the cubicle opposite mine asked me what the time was. I looked at my clock and then answered her but when she thanked me I could see her give me a confused look. When we were in the dining hall, standing by our tables waiting to be given leave to sit, I passed out and then taken back to my dorm when I came to. While lying in bed, the girl I gave the time to came up to me afterwards, laughing, saying she thought there was something up with me when I gave her the time. I asked her why and she said that I told her it was 5 minutes passed 20 passed 6 instead of just saying it was 25 passed 6. In my sick state I didn't even realise I had done that 😂

    • Rock girl

      Rock girl

      5 өдрийн өмнө

      i got pins and needles in my thumb during a class test once. I passed but at the cost of my sanity...

  17. Hanna Solis

    Hanna Solis

    6 өдрийн өмнө

    He looks like Tweedledee and Tweedledum

    • Rock girl

      Rock girl

      5 өдрийн өмнө

      Well you gotta go you gotta go 😂😂😂😂😂

  18. Katie Brewer

    Katie Brewer

    6 өдрийн өмнө

    I'm never that subtle. If someone spits on me, I wipe it off and laugh about it

  19. Laurine Keily

    Laurine Keily

    6 өдрийн өмнө

    Michael has given me a daily dose of laughter ever since COVID began. He has helped me through a very depressing and difficult time and I thank him everyday as I watch his videos. Thanks Michael, you’re a living legend! I love you and your funny actions and faces! 💓

  20. Elor Yosnak

    Elor Yosnak

    6 өдрийн өмнө

    "You do it, take it and leave" I'm dieing

  21. Vanessa Clausen

    Vanessa Clausen

    6 өдрийн өмнө

    I'll say "no your wrong, it's just a test" from now on when I'm asking for directions 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

    • bocoy noiu

      bocoy noiu

      6 өдрийн өмнө

      He is The Best!

  22. Marl Tebbutt

    Marl Tebbutt

    7 өдрийн өмнө

    Like laugh at your unfunny gigs mush

    • bocoy noiu

      bocoy noiu

      6 өдрийн өмнө

      This video caused me obesity.

  23. Susan Clements

    Susan Clements

    7 өдрийн өмнө

    Love him so funny.

  24. Knork Ster

    Knork Ster

    7 өдрийн өмнө

    Brrr, that guy is no way funny. And he´s gay. Don´t like that.

  25. Jess

    Jess

    7 өдрийн өмнө

    single handedly saving 2020.

  26. Herr Schmidt

    Herr Schmidt

    7 өдрийн өмнө

    must be the tamest Brit i ever witnessed

  27. Rock girl

    Rock girl

    7 өдрийн өмнө

    Imagine spitting on someone's face now.....😅

  28. L.A.Sharp

    L.A.Sharp

    7 өдрийн өмнө

    Popcorn at the movies always goes down the front of my blouse.....ALWAYS!!

  29. Klutzy Ninja Kitty

    Klutzy Ninja Kitty

    7 өдрийн өмнө

    The popcorn bit is just Ellen Degeneres’ joke but not as funny. The rest was funny, though.

  30. Dark Justice

    Dark Justice

    7 өдрийн өмнө

    Lol right after one about jeff toobin zoom call. Lol

  31. Laura Gadille

    Laura Gadille

    7 өдрийн өмнө

    Well you gotta go you gotta go 😂😂😂😂😂

    • Rock girl

      Rock girl

      7 өдрийн өмнө

      As funny as cancer

  32. Kronk

    Kronk

    7 өдрийн өмнө

    i got pins and needles in my thumb during a class test once. I passed but at the cost of my sanity...

  33. Amy McLean - Super Ink Arts

    Amy McLean - Super Ink Arts

    8 өдрийн өмнө

    I'm a twizzler! Being five foot has its advantages. Well, maybe just the one.

  34. Amy McLean - Super Ink Arts

    Amy McLean - Super Ink Arts

    8 өдрийн өмнө

    Definitely one of our finest humans.

  35. Francis W

    Francis W

    8 өдрийн өмнө

    This video caused me obesity.

  36. Hermien van der Meijden

    Hermien van der Meijden

    8 өдрийн өмнө

    He is The Best!

  37. bcvbb hyui

    bcvbb hyui

    8 өдрийн өмнө

    Is this just me?... When I get pins and needles, they make me laugh really hard!

  38. ceerw buty

    ceerw buty

    8 өдрийн өмнө

    I love micheal with a passion, I really wanna meet him

  39. kate carew

    kate carew

    8 өдрийн өмнө

    Literal godsend of a human 🙏🏻

    • bcvbb hyui

      bcvbb hyui

      8 өдрийн өмнө

      Ahhhh brilliantly funny as always, made me smile and laugh a lot :D Cheers!

  40. Cynthia Johnson

    Cynthia Johnson

    8 өдрийн өмнө

    Funny, funny, funny!

    • bcvbb hyui

      bcvbb hyui

      8 өдрийн өмнө

      who thinks the video should be entitled: thibgs I do when my crush ain't watchib.

  41. Mar Ggg

    Mar Ggg

    9 өдрийн өмнө

    This is not comedy

    • bcvbb hyui

      bcvbb hyui

      8 өдрийн өмнө

      aaaah my favourite comedian

  42. Niki Havens

    Niki Havens

    9 өдрийн өмнө

    You made my day with your humor! Thank you!

    • ceerw buty

      ceerw buty

      8 өдрийн өмнө

      GENIUS!

  43. Ma. Julia Amon

    Ma. Julia Amon

    9 өдрийн өмнө

    Oh My Ghaaad I can't breathe 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  44. William Yale

    William Yale

    9 өдрийн өмнө

    As funny as cancer

  45. Cleo Will

    Cleo Will

    9 өдрийн өмнө

    😂😂

  46. nieooj gotoy

    nieooj gotoy

    9 өдрийн өмнө

    Yeah! One I haven’t seen before. Although I am happy to rewatch Michael over and over.

  47. Deborah Duthie

    Deborah Duthie

    9 өдрийн өмнө

    After serious illness, I had to stop work. From then on, no clocks or timepieces in my home have had the correct time. My cars clock can’t tell between Daylight Saving Hours to Grenache Mean Time and the car battery was recently replaced so that correct time for half of the year also blinks non stop. Watches have always done strange speeding round and round until it’s back to the repair shop. Probably best not to ask me the time or directions. I am here, I don’t know where you want to go. I was lost while trying to go home but that doesn’t happen often. “Time matters to some of us, some of the time”is a saying.

  48. Richy-J

    Richy-J

    9 өдрийн өмнө

    micael mcintyre has a twin in north koria lol

  49. Daniel Cannon

    Daniel Cannon

    9 өдрийн өмнө

    About the pins and needles, I was in school a few years ago, we were sat on the floor and I got very bad pins and needles, so much so that I actually fell over.

  50. Monika Nejman

    Monika Nejman

    9 өдрийн өмнө

    I love it absolutely 🤣🤣🤣 everything is so perfectly normal and funny 🤣🤣

  51. Timberlyn Miles

    Timberlyn Miles

    10 өдрийн өмнө

    Let's be real, I don't flick one or two pieces of popcorn in the general direction of my mouth. I grab the biggest handful I possibly can and try to shove that all in my mouth at once. My fiance is truly shocked at how much popcorn I can put away and so am I to be honest. It's scary.

    • Rachel Schubert

      Rachel Schubert

      Өдрийн өмнө

      🙋‍♀️ this is so me!!!! The biggest one, and sometimes you grab two... especially if others are sharing the tub of popcorn!!

    • India Falconer

      India Falconer

      2 өдрийн өмнө

      I’ve written a song called Hear the calling. It’s about the feeling of knowing where you want to go, what you want to do and doing it. I think covid19 has redirected our purpose and made it clearer and I hope you can relate to this song. It would be amazing if you could give it a listen mnmore.info/bin/video/ibLG0cyid4fUpKw

    • Melissa Baker

      Melissa Baker

      6 өдрийн өмнө

      Same......🐽😁

    • Margarida Ferreira

      Margarida Ferreira

      6 өдрийн өмнө

      That is the only way to correctly eat popcorn! 😁

    • Hayley France

      Hayley France

      7 өдрийн өмнө

      I don’t just do this in private, no no, I do it whenever I eat popcorn wether people can see me or not. Take me as I am with all my flaws on the way I eat popcorn lol

  52. Slashley gibbins

    Slashley gibbins

    10 өдрийн өмнө

    I did a flubber in someone’s face when I was a kid. The wind was blowing really hard so I ejected my spit at him expecting it to disappear with the wind but it landed right on his chops.

  53. Natalie Grazin

    Natalie Grazin

    10 өдрийн өмнө

    who thinks the video should be entitled: thibgs I do when my crush ain't watchib.

  54. Kerran32

    Kerran32

    10 өдрийн өмнө

    Ahhhh brilliantly funny as always, made me smile and laugh a lot :D Cheers!

  55. Katarzyna Mórdas-Żylińska

    Katarzyna Mórdas-Żylińska

    10 өдрийн өмнө

    aaaah my favourite comedian

  56. Rowena Preston

    Rowena Preston

    10 өдрийн өмнө

    GENIUS!

  57. Rowena Preston

    Rowena Preston

    10 өдрийн өмнө

    GENIUS!

  58. Rowena Preston

    Rowena Preston

    10 өдрийн өмнө

    GENIUS!

  59. natta one

    natta one

    10 өдрийн өмнө

    Michael is one of the funniest men out there and I love that he doesn't swear 🤬 definitely my favorite comedian ❤️❤️❤️❤️

  60. Rowena Preston

    Rowena Preston

    10 өдрийн өмнө

    GENIUS!

  61. Nick Winz

    Nick Winz

    10 өдрийн өмнө

    Nobody’s lips are being spat on in 2020! 😷

  62. rlbarney2

    rlbarney2

    10 өдрийн өмнө

    6:03 - no I will address it. It's the one time I can say to someone "Say it, don't spray it; I want the news, not the weather." ;-)

  63. Julie F

    Julie F

    10 өдрийн өмнө

    Fucking fabulously written. Where do you get your browser settings

  64. Sarah Berry

    Sarah Berry

    10 өдрийн өмнө

    I thought this was a Ted talk and I was like...what's the point of this talk again? Then I realized it was a stand up comedy show 🤦‍♀️

  65. M Lewis

    M Lewis

    10 өдрийн өмнө

    This is my allll time favorite comedian!!!!! Every time I push the button on my keys to open the boot from a few feet away I think of him and laugh!

  66. TiptronicSS

    TiptronicSS

    10 өдрийн өмнө

    Oh man, I can't believe how accurate these descriptions are. Things you do, prolly notice, but are actually weird. This man's content isn't gold. It's diamond.

  67. Lisa McWilliams

    Lisa McWilliams

    11 өдрийн өмнө

    Hahahahaha @twizzle

  68. Brooke Martin

    Brooke Martin

    11 өдрийн өмнө

    You got the time pal?. I know that 3 months ago it was 2. 😄

  69. taylor veldhuis

    taylor veldhuis

    11 өдрийн өмнө

    The thing is michael we have a phone that tell us the time and also where we need to go WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN THERE 2 DECADES 😂😂😂

  70. Pink Magic Ali

    Pink Magic Ali

    11 өдрийн өмнө

    I maintain that treating on your own foot eases pins and needles way faster.

  71. eric bush

    eric bush

    11 өдрийн өмнө

    Hilarious that awkward time thing though just was was eating popcorn the other day life stuff we all have to a thru hilarious

    • bocoy noiu

      bocoy noiu

      11 өдрийн өмнө

      Why is Mr. McIntyre funny? Because he just says funny stuff. Doesn't do political garbage.

  72. Zoe Thomson

    Zoe Thomson

    11 өдрийн өмнө

    I remember seeing a post that described pins and needles as TV static and... yeah. That's exactly what it is

    • bocoy noiu

      bocoy noiu

      11 өдрийн өмнө

      Nice decade old ellen degeneres bit here

  73. Iwashita

    Iwashita

    11 өдрийн өмнө

    Irritating man

    • Jamie Wakefield

      Jamie Wakefield

      5 өдрийн өмнө

      Then dont watch it 😱

  74. Jeff Aller

    Jeff Aller

    11 өдрийн өмнө

    I'm sure this guy is funny if I could understand what he's saying.

  75. Tim Travasos

    Tim Travasos

    11 өдрийн өмнө

    All so true. Skip the manners and tell people the truth.

  76. Pastel Gamercorn

    Pastel Gamercorn

    11 өдрийн өмнө

    Hilarious! 😂

  77. Exotic_Manticore

    Exotic_Manticore

    11 өдрийн өмнө

    Oh my lord this was so funny I almost chocked on my own laugh!!!

  78. bocoy noiu

    bocoy noiu

    11 өдрийн өмнө

    Another big thank you for bringing more laughter to my life.

  79. Heather Hudson

    Heather Hudson

    12 өдрийн өмнө

    He's lovely isn't he.

  80. Rin C.

    Rin C.

    12 өдрийн өмнө

    I dont think ive ever announced pins and needles. But yeah walking on it is so weird and difficult

  81. bestdamnalex

    bestdamnalex

    12 өдрийн өмнө

    Wait, with the spitting... seriously? I mean, that happens to everyone (not even with Ps and Ts in words or whatever) but whenever that happens to me, I say "Oh I think I just spit lol" and the other person says its ok and you have a laugh and move on. O_o

    • bocoy noiu

      bocoy noiu

      11 өдрийн өмнө

      safe best wishes fr South Australia 🇦🇺

  82. Rahul J

    Rahul J

    12 өдрийн өмнө

    Probably the best in the business

  83. Nikos Mansolas

    Nikos Mansolas

    12 өдрийн өмнө

    Helps us during tought times , a true gent as well no swearing or dirty jokes needed with him

    • G Black

      G Black

      7 өдрийн өмнө

      10:01

    • Gwenyverre King

      Gwenyverre King

      12 өдрийн өмнө

      Ummmmm are we talking about the same guy 😂

  84. Jonathan Whitmore

    Jonathan Whitmore

    12 өдрийн өмнө

    I love his jokes as they are super relatable.

  85. J Darling

    J Darling

    12 өдрийн өмнө

    Nice decade old ellen degeneres bit here

  86. Rube Waddell

    Rube Waddell

    12 өдрийн өмнө

    Why is Mr. McIntyre funny? Because he just says funny stuff. Doesn't do political garbage.

  87. Karina Flower

    Karina Flower

    12 өдрийн өмнө

    Do Brits truly get freaked out by a stranger talking to them? They always say this.

    • Violet None Of Your Business

      Violet None Of Your Business

      4 цагийн өмнө

      It depends on the situation and where you are. It's kind of a rule to not talk to strangers on public transport, in London in general, ect but you only really know the situations and places it's ok to speak to strangers if you're from here yourself so we don't hold it against foreigners (unless you try and talk to us on the bus) and especially Americans we just think of as overly friendly so if you do we panic for a second thinking why are you talking to me until we hear your accent then think oh ok they're just American.

    • ixlnxs

      ixlnxs

      7 өдрийн өмнө

      Heavens! I cannot believe you are addressing me so directly. I don't believe we have met before, or have been introduced properly? Pardon my shock. What was your question?

    • Emma Jardine

      Emma Jardine

      11 өдрийн өмнө

      Londoners do. Oop north, we're a little less freaked out by

    • missmsquare

      missmsquare

      12 өдрийн өмнө

      I do sometimes especially on public transport.

  88. I R

    I R

    12 өдрийн өмнө

    I think middle class Michael taking the bus *was* the joke

  89. Sonya Gomez

    Sonya Gomez

    12 өдрийн өмнө

    So funny

  90. r .Irvine

    r .Irvine

    12 өдрийн өмнө

    Funny how the audience laughter rises and falls all at the same time.

  91. Aleia Truman

    Aleia Truman

    12 өдрийн өмнө

    Being spat on has a different meaning these days 😷😨

  92. P.A M

    P.A M

    12 өдрийн өмнө

    More tears in my eyes than when my hamster died

  93. dreamhobbiz

    dreamhobbiz

    12 өдрийн өмнө

    Either you stand, or you twizzle. How true! 🤣

  94. Sky

    Sky

    12 өдрийн өмнө

    It's four am. I'm eating cheese on my sofa. I need sleep. I'm an insomniac but I could sleep rn. Instead I'm eating cheese and laughing. What must my neighbours think😂

  95. A. R

    A. R

    12 өдрийн өмнө

    Micheal on the bus . Uh huhh . 🤣🤣🤣

  96. Min Wade

    Min Wade

    12 өдрийн өмнө

    Thank you for the laughs. In Australia when someone accidentally “sprays you in spittle”during a convo. We usually say “I wanted to hear the news, not the weather” LOL. Stay safe best wishes fr South Australia 🇦🇺

    • MrRooney182

      MrRooney182

      5 өдрийн өмнө

      😂😂😂😂😂

    • Rebecca Fowler

      Rebecca Fowler

      11 өдрийн өмнө

      Say it don't spray it😂

    • TKPS

      TKPS

      12 өдрийн өмнө

      True. We've never really been backwards in coming forward.

  97. Di B

    Di B

    12 өдрийн өмнө

    If someone spits on me while speaking to me, I’d say “ what the heck, you just spat on me! “ no one would be in any doubt.....I’d never just say nothing......

  98. pobat73 pobat

    pobat73 pobat

    12 өдрийн өмнө

    These people laugh over the stupidest, boring jokes!!!

  99. Bre Cruz

    Bre Cruz

    12 өдрийн өмнө

    Brilliant!

  100. Eugenie E

    Eugenie E

    12 өдрийн өмнө

    I love him. I love him. I love him.